Well I am trying to stay on track, but my youngest son had to go to the ER with his gf, she had her baby early (preme) So I came down here (4 hours away) to help with their other 5 kids. So I am just trying to watch portion sizes until I get back home. I will be here for a month or so, Luna Perry is 5 Pounds but her lungs aren't fully developed and she has been having a ton of trouble. Please keep her in your prayers.
"My mother was crazy!" (my story continued)
Growing up it was me, my sister and my mother (and adoptive grandparents). That's all we knew as "family." I didn't have cousins, aunts, uncles or anything like that. My mom was adopted at age 9 by my grandparents. My mom had moved to Phoenix after she divorced my bio father, but from the time I can remember, she always told us he was dead, she would send us to our grandparents in Tulsa every summer, for the full summer. I honestly think she did it so she could get rid of us and do her own thing, but the youngest I remember flying to Tulsa was 4 my sister was 6, back then, they had kept us in a room at the airport, and said not to move till they came back for us, they would lock us in that room for what seemed like forever. (this was for plane delays or transfers.) Anyway, we when we were at our grandparents we would "insist" our father was dead. (that's the way my mother put it, so that's the way we did.) My grandparents insisted my mother was lying and he was very much alive. We had no idea "what" to believe. My mother and my grandmother didn't have a very good relationship and I knew that from the beginning. Every summer she would tell us from a very young age how terrible my mother was, and she was, but as a little kid you don't know that.
All I know, is I am here by the grace of God. The first time I knew something was wrong with my mother I was in about 3rd grade. She had married my step dad (one of them) and they had terrible screaming matches. Most were at 1 or 2 am in the morning. He drank, and would stay at the bar all night. (or till it closed) He often came home, and dinner was cold and he would throw it at my mom. I remember one night we had spaghetti and he came home and it was cold, and he threw his plate, we had it hanging from the beams on the ceiling. during that fight, my mom "passed out." or from what we knew she fell on the floor and didn't move. We started screaming, and my step dad told us to go to our room, that she was faking it and would get up soon. We were terrified. From that point on, she did it a lot during their fights. This went on till I was in the 5th grade. They seperated and my mother found a house close to our school. Anyways, one day after school my mom was yelling because our chores weren't done, (and when I say "yelling" I mean like at the top of her lungs.) Screeching at us. Well on that day, my mom again "passed out." but this time we were alone, my step dad wasn't there and we had NO IDEA what to do. Well after a few minutes she sat up, and acted like she was a little girl, and me and my sitter was the "nuns that saved her." I just kept looking at my sister and asked her if we should call 911, because she did this for awhile. My mother then goes, no I just need to lay down and take a nap (in a baby voice) she went over to the couch and layed down. A few minutes later, she sat up and ask if our chores were done. I was so confused. My sister was too. After that she started telling us, she had brain cancer and told us she was going to die soon. We were HORRIFIED. My mother was high school teacher AND she was a manager at a convenience store. she worked school in the mornings, and 3 to 11 at night (or sometimes 11 to 7am at the store) we were left home alone. I remember more then once playing outside really late at night. Again we had "no" supervision.
She would sleep between jobs, so we almost never saw her. (but when we did, she was always sick with something. One she told us she had Leukemia, which at the time we had no idea what it was but that she was dying from it. (by this time I guess the brain cancer disappeared, because it wasn't brought up anymore. Then she told us she only had one kidney and if that one failed she was going to die. I mean it was life or death stuff and it was always changing, but around other people she acted totally normal. When I was in 3rd grade, I got a job at a rabbit farm, the only light in my life was Mr. Gram. He paid me every day to feed and water hundreds of rabbits. When my mom drove by his farm once, he was selling rabbits (babies) on the corner of his farm by the main road. I begged my mom for one, she told me if I wanted one so bad, I needed to walk down there and ask him if I can work for one. (remember I was in 3rd grade) and his farm was exactly 1 mile from my house. and I had to cross a very busy road, but he said I could work for one. So that saturday, my mom took me up there, and told me I had to walk home after I was finished. I sat and sold bunnies all day on the corner. At the end of the day (continued tomorrow)
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